Song~ Anything by Tom Waits
Scent: Ice Queen~A majestic blend of precious pale musks, brittle winter blossoms, spruce, and frozen winter fruits.
Smooshing day 2 & 3 together because we didn’t get done till laaate on day 2.
So day 2 I wake up feeling like day 1 was just a dream and didn’t really happen. Then I think to myself “Did Rachel Brice really ask me about my sex life yesterday?” Day 2 we worked on lateral bends, oh the soreness, but it was awesome. Then we learned Baladi and Sai’idi.
After that Rachel made us start doing her “Stacking Method” it’s pretty cool to create patterns and combinations. As I was working with Shanti on our little phrase Rachel was walking around watching us and knowing I’m being watched I mess up. So while walking around she hid behind a Oriental rug that hands on the west wall and peeked over a bit. Then she got behind the rug and walked the length of it the rug to peek over the other side it was like a little kid. It was SOOOOO cute, after that it was Yoga then a 90min dinner. A group of us were going to go to Tai place but it’s a tiny place so it couldn’t hold all of us and get us fed in 90 mins. So we walked to some of the food carts. My anxiety started acting up so I had iced tea for supper. After Tabra ate I want with her to find whole foods, I was talking to her about Matt, and how sadly he doesn’t know how to be an adult because he never had to. And that his mom is still doing things for him. Like cleaning the bedroom that he moved into. Tabra said something pretty harsh something about how h is mom screwed him over now he can perform in bed.
Then it Costuming Café. This wasn’t a “How to” on making costumes it was more of where Rachel gets her inspiration and what are resources that people can do to create their costumes, like places for fabric and kuchi pieces. We didn’t end till like 10:30 I started walking back to the motel while texting my Twin. But since I don’t like walking and texting at the same time so I stopped and texted and that’s when Lacey and Allie came up and we walked together since they are staying at a place close to mine. I was able to hold my anxiety in all day until I got to the motel and just had a good cry.
Woke up early again and didn’t want to get out of bed. But I got a phone call and pep talk while eating breakfast. Everyone seemed very tired, mostly mentally tired but still tired. We worked on lengthening the spine. It was pretty mellow and not nearly as bad as the day before. After lunch we did a “pop quiz” there were only 4 questions and I still freaked after the quiz it was more Zills (finger cymbals) learned 2 more patterns. While working on Zills Rachel shared a rather embarrassing story with us. Oh it was so funny.
Then we needed to work on more stuff on changing up choreography and I started getting an overwhelming feeling of dread. It was just horrible. We did hip work in our yoga major work and I felt it. I kept seeing myself in the mirrors at Datura and just felt disgusted at what I saw. Luckily we had to end early so I headed back to my room. While walking back I was realizing this was so stupid for me to sign up for this workshop, even thought about giving up dancing. I got some sweet texts by my Coven members. I love them all so much.
I am just feeling like I’m drowning at the moment. I will swallow if it will help my sea level go down but I am not sure if my sea level will go down but one more drop and i will drown. So I think I’m going to finish my Tension Tamer tea, take a shower and go to sleep. Just feeling so helpless at the moment.