Day 4

Song: Linus & Lucy from The Peanuts

Scent: Supportive Sun~ Heliotrope, amber, almond flower, frangipani, cedar, and calamus

Even after my ‘pep’ talk phone call I was still feeling like I was drowning. I even said that during my one word check in that morning while trying not to cry.  That was a hard day. A lot of us were tired and crying on the phone to my Twin the night before telling him that I couldn’t finish the workshop didn’t help any less with the tiredness. But I needed the phone call or I would have done something stupid. I was about to do something stupid right before he called. He tried but I just couldn’t get “pepped” mostly it was because I thought I sucked at dance and didn’t belong in the workshop.  I was sure that that would have been my last day of the workshop and I just wouldn’t go to Datura on Saturday.

Rachel started talking to us about improvisation. And well even though no one was looking at me I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t dance in a room full of people and  not other dancers.  Rachel then split us up and we had to pick a partner then one partner danced and the other watches. I almost didn’t dance when it was my turn it was hard not to start crying, but I did dance by myself.  After that Rachel talked to us about dancing inprov to drum solos, then told everyone that, it was my first time dancing along in front of people so the WHOLE class gave me a hug. Of course that made me cry. And “Happy” gave me many hugs and kisses. I miss her.  Then Lunch went and had lunch at the food carts with Tabra. I love Portland for that reason. And thai iced tea with coconut milk? *drools*

We warmed up to Linus and Lucy. Rachel had us do that last year in Costa Rica, so Sonia, Happy, Shanti and I all knew what was going on before she put on the music. But it was fun and we all laughed. So no matter what when I hear that I picture a bunch of belly dancer dancing in a circle, laughing and giggling.  Then we worked on making 8 count motifs and joining them with someone else’s, I paired up with Anne. Then Rachel gave us a foot pattern and we made up arms. I really like Rachel’s “Staking Method”. Sometimes it makes me feel like I should be on the short bus but other times it clicks.

I also found out at that day at 1pm that Matt couldn’t get me after the party on Saturday. So I either had to book another night in my room or find a place to crash. He also didn’t want to pick me up on Sunday because he wanted to go to Church before work rather than getting me or that he worked at noon and just didn’t want to come and get me that early. So I had to scramble to get a ride home. Thankfully Anne lives in Eugene and she said she could give me a ride home since it’s not that far out of her way.

So I danced in front of people. The most terrifying thing I have ever done in my life.

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