Night of Epic Win

Oh yesterday was full of Epic and Win on so many levels. Last night was the Abney Park show. So I will tell you what will happen.

Well for weeks we were all planned to meet to at a sushi place near the theater and when the show was at. So I pick up L and we head to Portland. On the way up there we say a car with some pretty nasty bumper stickers, something like “Smile Be Glad Your Weren’t Aborted” or “I don’t have enought FAITH to Believe in Evalution” “Premarital Sex Puts You on the Used Car Lot” and one about not dying so the Pastor doesn’t have to lie. L was reading them to me as I was paying attention to driving. Except I did notice he was on his cell phone! So he’s allowed to shove his beliefes down others throat as they drive AND endanger people and break the law while being on his cell phone? Come one jerkface!

So after L and I get to a parking gurage and ready to meet everyone at Sushi Ichiban I get my phone out and there’s a text that I got at 5:00pm saying “We’re eating in Beaverton hope you can make it”. Oh I was annoyed. I mean we were meeting at 6:30pm it takes an hour to get from Salem to Portland and you text me 90 minutes before we are supposed to meet? That’s just rude! There had been plans set up for weeks they knew people were coming from all over and at different times. Also since I didn’t replay to the freaking text why not call me and make SURE I got the message? So I text them back and say ummm… NO that’s not ok with us. L and I are already in Portland and it’s too late to head down to Beaverton. Not to mention that would have been a huge waste of gas unless they wanted to pay the $4.00 a gallon in gas for me to head down to Beaverton for them!! Very very rude and inconsiderate!

So L and I go to Sushi Ichiban we get in there and they are playing 80’s synth-pop and I’m all gitty they were playing “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night” and they played “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Less annoyed because I plan on having fun.  The sushi was pulled by a train and I think it kept getting longer and shorter. But the awesome part was someone was leaving little notes on the train like “Feed me Seymore” or “Come back Sushi”, or “Fuck sushi I’m here for the boobs” there was even a tiny note that as a poll asking who your favorite ninja turtle was.  The two men next to us were talking about everything from Barbie Dolls to Weebles. So cool music, train sushi, little notes and 2 grown men talking about childrens toys. I think L’s & my supper was far better.

So L & I find the venue it wasn’t that far away from Sushi Ichiban. I was told Matt might be at the concert but I asn’t sure or not. But I saw him in line and just ignored him. Because really my thought is/was “We were married for almost 6 years together over 8. That’s because we have/had a lot in common. It’s not going to change just because we’re divorced.” But I’m there with a group of friends if the rest of them ever show up so I’m going to have fun. Just because we ended up in the same place doesn’t mean we have to hang out or talk to one another. So I don’t. It was the first time I’ve really seen him in a long time. But I didn’t go over to talk to him or even go near him. I just saw that were were at the same place.

While in line there is a homeless man asking for change and I have an extra dollar so I give it to him. And he told first that he’ll buy me a beer later, then it got to he will buy me dinner and changes that if I ever need acid he will hook me up. Then he started parsing me for giving him the dollar and told me that I just gave Jesus a dollar. And maybe I had. It was entertaining and whatever he used it on I hope he enjoyed it. Not my place to judge him or what he spends the money on.

They start letting people into the venue but L & I can’t get in because our tickets are at Will-Call under someone else’s name. So the doorman tells us to stand to the side and when our group shows up he’ll let them jump the line and we can get in. Well L and I are out in the cold for like 30 mins and our group still hadn’t shown up. So the doorman asks if we know the full name of the person who has our tickets. And we say yeah. So he tells the chick at Will-Call to let us in since our party wasn’t there and we were even sure if the rest of them were going to show up. So in the theater there’s a clear spot by stage right that I head for and claim my spot! Still can’t see the rest of our party.

About 15 minutes later I see that K and M show up and poor K got stopped by Matt. I feel bad but try not to gawk, but I do glance over my shoulder every so often and at one point I think he’s crying. I mean if you are with someone for 8+ years you can tell facial expressions. Not sure how long but after a while K come over to me and her very first comment is that “Matt is a pussy”.

So K tells me that she spotted Matt then Matt spotted her spotting him so she couldn’t ignore him. But I guess he didn’t know I was going to the show and he went off telling K that since our divorce he had stopped going to concert and events because he didn’t want me to be uncomfortable or make an awkward scene so he just ‘stayed away’. Now he didn’t want me to make a scene or be awkward yet he’s the 32 almost 33 year old man sitting in a club crying into his beer? Ok we have been divorced since Aug and I haven’t said a single word to him since Oct and he’s still blaming me for him being unhappy and not doing things. WTF!?!?! REALLY!?!?!

Gods again we do like a lot of the same stuff that’s not going to change. I don’t care where he goes, what or who he does. Not going to make me feel bad, or uncomfortable or awkward. My only thing is that I don’t suggest he goes to any belly dance function as they Beautiful Ladies are my friends and Sister. No none of them will be outwordly rude or mean to him. But I know they will and do have my back and love me. But if he wants to go he can. I’m just saying that well it might not be a good idea.

K also had to reassure Matt that I really am doing alright because Matt was ‘worried’ about me. He heard about the credit card and was wondering how I was surviving and living, or even how I got to the concert. K had to tell him I’m fine then asked how he afforeded the concert and his replay was “My mom bought the ticket”.

If he’s really upset and feels bad about helping me rack up a $5000 credit card he could always contact me and offer to help pay. I can’t make him as our divorce says we will pay any of our own withstanding debt so I can’t make him pay, but if he really is upset about it he could offer to help.

But K has to reasure him over and over again that NO I’m not living in a box somewhere and that I’m alright. Then apparently he went off and had to have K reassure him that just because he’s no longer in my life I haven’t given up or lost my hopes and dreams. WHAT he thinks so little of me that he thinks that without HIM in my life I am reduced to being a brake say pathetic homeless person that has no hopes and dreams anymore!?!?! I wanted to go over to him then and there and deck him. He still thinks he’s so important in my life and existence that just because he’s no longer there I’m falling apart?

Then the band came out and rocked it. This was the second time I’ve seen Abney park and they are just as awesome as last time even with the new band members. I had to take off my shoes during the concert because I was getting blisters. They played a lot of new song and of course some of my favorites like “Wrong Side”. The new violin player was pretty awesome too. And their costumes like always rocked! Oh the hat that the violin player wore *swoon*. Oh year it was an Awesome night of getting my Steampunk on with some of my friends. What a way to end Winter Term and welcome in the Spring. And I was very  happy with how my make-up turned out last night so it made me happier and feel sexier.

During the intermission I had to use the restroom and I knew Matt was watching me. As I was walking by on the way back to the stage I saw that he was sitting alone at a table. There were two others at his table but they were just sitting by him because he was alone at a table and they were totally ignoring him.

After the concert the band was outside taking pictures and so since I had been up since 6:30am and it was nearly midnight I get my CD have them sign it then L and I head back home since it’s going to be an hour drive. I realize I forgot to feed the cats before I left and realize that they will be protesting a lot when I get home.

I drop L off then head home. I get home and there’s a big fluffy gray cat sitting on my landing and my heart jumps out of my chest thinking it’s Ghost. It’s 1 in the morning I jump out of my cat saying “Ghost?” and the cat gets up and runs away and I still cat’s tell if it’s not Ghost or not but I’m pretty sure it’s not. I open the door and Ghost greets me. So I lock up the apartment feed the cats and scoop Ghost up cuddle and snuggle her then go to bed.

It was a great night.

K told me not to let Matt get to me. Just because he is still tired and hung up on me. And I told her no it was more just like WTF that will turn into a REALLY? That will fade into whatever it’s HIS bag of crazy not mine. And I am no longer attached to his bag of crazy. So yeah. It was just more this was the first time I’d really seen him in a while. But it will fade.