Stuffs

Ok so as a few of you know I’m having a really hard time with money at the moment. Just bare scrapping by with rent and power. I’ve lost my phone and internet because I just can’t afford them. And now my car is dead and I’m not sure why. This really couldn’t come at a worse time as I’m going to be dog watching and house sitting for my parents for 2 weeks later this month and still go to class and work and they live 20 miles away.  But we’ll find a way to make it work.

Anyway after the crying fit Matt made at the Star Theatre in March I was talking to my friend K.P and she said that Matt seemed genially upset and concerned about me.  So after talking with her we came to the conclusion that if he is genially concerned he either is too scared or lack the testicular fortitude to ‘be the bigger man’ and get a hold of me. So K.P told me to ‘put on my big girl panties’ and get a hold of him. So I wrote him a letter thanking him for his concern and said if he’d like to help with this blasted credit card that he helped me max out I wouldn’t mind if he paid a quarter of it.  I had a few people read to make sure I came off as professional and not needy, or too arrogant. I mailed it certified mail on April 13th so I know he got the letter. I know I shouldn’t be surprised or even disappointed but I haven’t heard a word from him.  I know it’s my idealism but I had a sliver of hope.

There’s so much I want to say to that “snivelling-mommas-boy-who-can’t-take-responsibility-for-his-own-inadequacies” (Thanks K.S) I hear writing a letter to ex can be very cathartic and I think that’s what my next update will be is a letter to him

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One Response to “Stuffs”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    I’m curious as to why you felt the need to contact him when he was upset. You don’t owe him the courtesy. He obviously doesn’t actually care (leaving you stranded in PDX and giving away your pet as examples) and only seems to gather attention to it when it has the possibility of disturbing you or making your day worse. I think that until his balls drop and he has the backbone and courage to talk to you, just get on with your life and assume that he is the amoeba-brained, cowardly, spineless, spoiled asshole that he acts like… The more energy you put into him, the more power he has over you.

    Having said that, I know that it is hard to extract yourself, especially when you are busting your butt to make things work and every month you make that payment… but every one of those payments is another chunk of nastiness gone…

    Good luck… and know you are Loved…


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