Drivers Test

I just set up my drivers test for Aug 17th at 10:40 am. 🙂 Wish me luck


Day 2 & 3

Song~  Anything by Tom Waits

Scent: Ice Queen~A majestic blend of precious pale musks, brittle winter blossoms, spruce, and frozen winter fruits.


Smooshing day 2 & 3 together because we didn’t get done till laaate on day 2.


So day 2 I wake up feeling like day 1 was just a dream and didn’t really happen. Then I think to myself “Did Rachel Brice really ask me about my sex life yesterday?” Day 2 we worked on lateral bends, oh the soreness, but it was awesome.  Then we learned Baladi and Sai’idi.

After that Rachel made us start doing her “Stacking Method” it’s pretty cool to create patterns and combinations.  As I was working with Shanti on our little phrase Rachel was walking around watching us and knowing I’m being watched I mess up. So while walking around she hid behind a Oriental rug that hands on the west wall and peeked over a bit. Then she got behind the rug and walked the length of it the rug to peek over the other side it was like a little kid. It was SOOOOO cute, after that it was Yoga then a 90min dinner.  A group of us were going to go to Tai place but it’s a tiny place so it couldn’t hold all of us and get us fed in 90 mins. So we walked to some of the food carts. My anxiety started acting up so I had iced tea for supper. After Tabra ate I want with her to find whole foods, I was talking to her about Matt, and how sadly he doesn’t know how to be an adult because he never had to. And that his mom is still doing things for him. Like cleaning the bedroom that he moved into.  Tabra said something pretty harsh something about how h is mom screwed him over now he can perform in bed.

Then it Costuming Café. This wasn’t a “How to” on making costumes it was more of where Rachel gets her inspiration and what are resources that people can do to create their costumes, like places for fabric and kuchi pieces. We didn’t end till like 10:30 I started walking back to the motel while texting my Twin. But since I don’t like walking and texting at the same time so I stopped and texted and that’s when Lacey and Allie came up and we walked together since they are staying at a place close to mine. I was able to hold my anxiety in all day until I got to the motel and just had a good cry.

Day 3

Woke up early again and didn’t want to get out of bed. But I got a phone call and pep talk while eating breakfast. Everyone seemed very tired, mostly mentally tired but still tired. We worked on lengthening the spine. It was pretty mellow and not nearly as bad as the day before. After lunch we did a “pop quiz” there were only 4 questions and I still freaked after the quiz it was more Zills (finger cymbals) learned 2 more patterns. While working on Zills Rachel shared a rather embarrassing story with us. Oh it was so funny.

Then we needed to work on more stuff on changing up choreography and I started getting an overwhelming feeling of dread. It was just horrible. We did hip work in our yoga major work and I felt it. I kept seeing myself in the mirrors at Datura and just felt disgusted at what I saw.  Luckily we had to end early so I headed back to my room. While walking back I was realizing this was so stupid for me to sign up for this workshop, even thought about giving up dancing. I got some sweet texts by my Coven members. I love them all so much.

I am just feeling like I’m drowning at the moment. I will swallow if it will help my sea level go down but I am not sure if my sea level will go down but one more drop and i will drown.  So I think I’m going to finish my Tension Tamer tea, take a shower and go to sleep. Just feeling so helpless at the moment.

Day 1

Song: Little Booty Girl ~ Thunderheist

Scent: Swank ~  Simply cool, the essence of Lounge: the scent of a crisp pomegranate martini.

Day one of 8 Elements, this was the “easy” day. I hear the 8 Elements puts the INTENCE in Intensive. That makes my anxiety act up and it’s only day one.

Really makes me worry about what I have gotten myself into. As I sit here in my cheap motel whose internet is worse than MINet. I’ve already done most of my homework. There are about 20 people in the class and it’s at Datura. It has an amazing feeling, and of course Rachel and Sol are so wonderful. There are women from all over the word here for this. Someone from, Italy, Mexico, Korea (she now lives in San Francisco), Columbia (she now lives in Huston), and Russia (she now lives in Utah), Canada and people all over the US.  I’m pretty excited that one of my classmates from NagaSita’s class is there with me as are three people I know from the Costa Rica retreats. So I have a ton of support here and I hope I’ll just gain more from getting to know the women here.

When we took a break Rachel came over to talk to me. And said that she heard what happened between Matt and me. And asked what’s going on and if we were still having sex. I told her no that that was one of the reasons we aren’t together anymore. She says that we are handling this rather adult like. I can’t say I always agree as there is a lot of stuff that didn’t use to that now drives me nuts about him.

But I am here alone in my motel and I am just diving in head first into this week. It will be a week of growth and change I am sure. Going to try to think of Matt as little as possible and just work on myself, might be hard but I have to try. This week is for ME.

But this is awesome where else can you bellydance to Tom Waits, Thunderheist, Mos Def, just to name a little bit of the music that Rachel put on today. I will have to see what tomorrow holds. I think it is time for me to go take a LONG HOT shower and get a cup of tea and wind down for the night. I’ll post more later.

Black Phoenix Wish List

Now I have been a loyal customer/addict (very fine line when it comes to BPAL) of everything Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs, Trading Posts, and Twilight Alchemy Labs since May 2004 at least I know some relationships are meant to last. Since that time I have made may a wish lists of scents and things that I want/need. The problem is I haven’t kept track of what I have tried and if I like it or not well that’s changing and so I am re-re-restarting my wish list this time to keep the organized and so I can remember what I’ve tried what I like and what make me smell like an old IHOP, sad little Crumpet Rebellion,  or worse. So here is my new Wish List:

Ars Amatoria:

Bathsheba: The Seventh Daughter, Daughter of the Oath. She was King David’s lover, and the mother of King Solomon. Her scent is breathtakingly lovely, exotic and powerfully sensual in its innocence: carnation, sensual plum, and Arabian musk.

Defututa: Olive blossom, honey, smoky vanilla, cinnamon, jasmine, sandalwood, and champaca flower.

Desire: The overwhelming agony of passion crystallized into a singularly dark and magnetic blend: bittersweet neroli, black patchouli and black musk, gilded by apple, bergamot, blood red rose, teak, and vanilla.

Fascinum: Golden amber, golden musk, litsea cubeba, cedar, and saffron.

Hunger: Evokes sheer, unadulterated carnal lust. An undeniably warm and sensual scent. Black narcissus, orange blossoms, and vanilla.

Lilium Inter Spinas: Hibiscus syriacus, white sandalwood, lily of the valley, apple blossom, and green fig

Muse: A light, invigorating floral and citrus blend. Tuberose, lotus and jasmine with a hint of lime.

Nefertiti: “The Beautiful One Is Come”. Egyptian iris and olibanum with red and white sandalwood, soft myrrh and a breath of North African herbs.

Sed Non Satiata: A pounding heartbeat coalesced into scent: demonic passion and brutal sexuality manifested through myrrh, red patchouli, cognac, honey, and tuberose and geranium in a breathy, panting veil over the darkest body musk.

Suspiro: A Latin word that means to sigh or draw a deep breath, that also suggests longing, desire, yearning, and a passionate wish. Ylang ylang with white plum, white orchid, jasmine, calla lily and lily of the valley.

The Temptation: An expression of love, adoration, and desire, of beauty that transcends mortal desire and piques the interest of hell itself: attar of rose, calla lily, palmarosa, peach blossom, wisteria, rice flower, and black musk.

Wanda: Along with Loviatar, she has become something of a Patron Goddess of all Dominatrixes, Wanda is the breathtakingly beautiful sable-wrapped marble queen of Sacher-Masoch’s fantasies. Her scent is a deep red merlot with a faint hint of leather, sexual musk and body heat over crushed roses, violets and myrtle.

Whoso List to Hunt: Sensual brown musk, rich amber, English rose, oak bark, and moss.

Ars Draconis:

Dragon’s Blood: Powerful, commanding, blazing with strength.

Dragon’s Heart: A scent pulsing with vitality, warmth and insurmountable strength: dragon’s blood resin, red and black musks, a throb of fig and a sliver of black currant.

Ladon: The hundred-headed dragon that guards the garden of the Hesperides: dragon’s blood resin, golden apple, apple blossom, white musk and hyacinth.

Ars Moriendi:

The Ghost: A thin, sinuous, creeping chill, the scent of glee-filled undeath: white iris, osmanthus, Calla lily, tomb-crawling ivy and a coffin spray of gladiolus, lisianthus and delphinium.

Haunted: A mournful, poignant scent, thick with foreboding. Soft golden amber darkened with a touch of murky black musk.

Jazz Funeral: Bittersweet bay rum, bourbon, and a host of funeral flowers with a touch of graveyard dirt, magnolia and Spanish Moss.

The Reaper & The Flowers: A funereal bouquet laid on cemetery grass: longiflorum lilies, white rose, chrysanthemum, and carnation.

Atomic Lual Lounge:

Aremata-Popoa: Blackberry brandy, Castillo rum, ouzo, and iced black tea.

Screeching Parrot: Golden rum, apricot liquor, pineapple, pomegranate, ginger, brandy, grapefruit, and pink lime.

Bewitching Brews:

Chimera: The fiery, volatile scent of cinnamon, thickened by myrrh, honeysuckle, and copal.

The Coiled Serpent: A potent yogic oil that stimulates the kundalini, provokes spiritual awakening, and releases the energy seated in your root chakra.

Grand Guignol: In 1897, a new form of entertainment was presented to the people of Montmartre, Paris: the Théâtre du Grand Guignol. During the course of an evening at the theatre, one would watch several small plays, ranging from crime dramas to sexual farces, a violent, throat-ripping, eye-gouging, acid-tossing good time, which always included shock topics such as infanticide, necrophilia, insanity, murder, paranoia, vengeance and death by common household object. Our Grand Guignol perfume is a shot of sweet apricot brandy; just enough to settle your nerves after a ghoulish, gory brush with the macabre.

The Harlot’s House: The dead are dancing with the dead, the dust is whirling with the dust: angel’s trumpet, violet, white sandalwood, oude, copaiba balsam, angelica, white tea, olibanum, and oakmoss.

Hymn to Proserpine: The darkening amber of faith’s sunset, deepened by the dark fruits of Proserpine.

Phantasm: This delicate, spectral perfume gives rise to an eerie distortion of of the senses. It bestows an ephemeral, ghostly, and truly haunting quality to your presence. Green tea, lemon verbena, jasmine and neroli.

Shattered: A scent as sharp as glass shards, and as brittle as a broken heart. The formula came to me – quite literally – in a dream, and is named after, and created in memory of, the last poem that I ever wrote… almost ten years ago to the day. A blend of white champagne notes, grapefruit, lotus, slivered mint and crystalline aquatic blooms.

Tushnamatay: Pure internal harmony and spiritual bliss: the perfected meditation blend.


Akuma: Devilish temptation, as sweet as sin: blood orange, neroli, and raspberry.

Kuang Shi: Bust out the dzang dzi! This scent honors the zombies of Chinese lore. Mandarin orange, white musk, mango, and white sandalwood.

Maenad: Orgiastic mayhem in the extreme: sweet strawberry and orange blossom distorted by carnation, black poppy and hibiscus.

Phantom Queen: An epithet of the Morrigan, crow-winged Celtic goddess of war, strife and fertility. Adoration of this Goddess is expressed both through the ecstasy of battle lust and the ecstasy of sexual regeneration. Black orchid, apple blossom, meadowsweet, and rue over Irish moss, hawthorn and red clover.

Phobos: Twin to Deimos and child of War, Phobos is the embodiment of terror and mortal fear. Chilling white musk, lemon verbena, white grapefruit and lemongrass.

Szepasszony: The Fair Lady, Winter Witch, White Maiden of the Storm. Szepasszony is a Hungarian demoness that appears as a stunningly beautiful woman with long, silver-white hair and a blinding white dress. She revels in storms, particularly when hail rains down on her. Water dripping down eaves into a puddle is an invitation for her to cause mischief: she uses the puddle as a magickal tool for casting her wicked spells. It is considered foolhardy to step into a circle of short grass ringed by taller grasses, as those mark the circles where the Fair Lady dances. A chilly, tempestuous whirlwind of clear, airy notes, slashing rain, and a thin undercurrent of white flowers.

Villain: A classic Victorian men’s cologne: a lavender fougere, with hints of lilac, lime, and citrus musk.


Al-Shairan: The enemy of God, also named Iblis, He Who Despaired of the Mercy of God. Al-Shairan is the leader of the Jinn, a tempter who whispers false suggestions to men enticing them into evil and perfidious acts, and is the sworn enemy of all of Adam’s children. His scent is fiery, bright and thick with sweet sinfulness: clove, peach and orange with cinnamon, patchouli and dark incense notes.

Anubis: He Who Counts the Hearts, Jackal Ruler of the Bows, He Who Is In the Place of Embalming. Jackal-headed guardian, protector and psychopomp of Egypt’s dead, he guides souls to the underworld and holds steady the scales upon which the deceased’s heart is weighed against Ma’at’s Feather of Truth. He is the creator and master of funereal rites, He Who Opens the Mouth of the Dead, and is the sentinel that watches over the sanctity of tombs and the virtue and privacy of his charges. His scent is a blend of holy myrrh, storax, balsam, and embalming herbs.

Ehecatl: The Aztec God of the Winds. He is one of the faces of the Feathered Serpent, and in this aspect he gave life to the sun and the moon, revives the dead, and breathes love into the hearts all of men.
Hibiscus, matcha, white musk, and lime.

Eros: Myrrh, lilac, and honey wine with crimson tea leaf and sweet resins.

Peitho: The Goddess of Persuasion, Seduction and Sexual Wiles. A member of Aphrodite’s retinue, she is also Aphrodite’s daughter and sister to Tyche and Eunomia. Lusty myrtle and jasmine with red sandalwood, stargazer lily, and clove over an opulent, rich bed of warm musk and bourbon vanilla.

Good Cheer
Plumeria, pear and white champagne

Agaea: Splendour Three golden ambers, bright musk, peach wine and myrtle.

Urd: Fate Muscadine, black and red patchouli, cereus and nag champa

Verdandi: Necessity Deep herbs and apple with black amber

Megaera: The Unwilling, The Jealous One Orris, black amber, bergamot, plum and grapefruit


Desdemona: Innocent, soft and pure: sweet pea, carnation and water lily.

Hermia: Pink pepper, golden amber, honeysuckle, and passion flower.

Lady MacBeth: The essence of ambition, covetousness and manipulation: sweet Bordeaux wine, blood red currant, thyme and wild berries.

Tamora: Amber, heliotrope, golden sandalwood, peach blossom and vanilla bean.

Mad Tea Party:

All in the Golden Afternoon: A bizarre blend of pineapple, tangerine, tobacco, apricot, and seltzer coated with hazy amber and heady sun-baked flowers.

Cheshire Cat: Grapefruit, red currant, dark musk, Roman chamomile, delphinium, and lavender.

Croquet: We have some trouble managing our flamingos, too. Pink lime, pink grapefruit, white nectarine, wild rose, sage, woody patchouli, bergamot, and ornery hedgehog musk.

Eat Me: Three white cakes, vanilla, and red and black currants.

Frumious Bandersnatch: Bandersnatch musk, redolent of spicy carnations, wild plums and chrysanthemum.

’tis the Voice of the Lobster: A woody, musky-weird base glooping over with blackberry preserves, a twist of mandarin, strawberry juice, pulverized watermelon, and a handful of smushed gardenia petals.


The White Rider: White leather and sandalwood.


The Black Rider: Black leather, oppoponax, tobacco, and black amber.

Rappaccni’s Garden:

Black Lotus: Born in the shadows of a Temple to Set, this corrupted Egyptian scent evokes images of black pyramids, river demons, and bleak, deadly desert sands. Black lotus flower, amber, myrrh and sandalwood.

Blood Lotus: Lush, velvet-red blooms born from the blood shed in the eternal battle between Set and Horus the Avenger.

Sin and Salvation:

Death on a Pale Horse: The End of All Things: empty white musk and mint seeped with solemn lavender, doleful patchouli and vetiver, scythe-sharp yuzu and lime, with geranium bourbon, white sandalwood and calla lily.

Hellfire: A scent celebrating Sir Francis Dashwood’s Order of the Knights of St. Francis of Wycombe, also known as the Hellfire Club. A swirl of pipe tobacco, hot leather, ambergris, dark musk and the lingering incense smoke from their Black Mass.

Paramatman: Orange blossom, East Indian sandalwood, and champaca.


Dream Formula I: Oneiroi: Created to invoke the ancient Greek deities of dreams. On the shores of the ocean, somewhere in the West, they dwell behind their gates of horn and ivory. Soporific, dark, and unfathomable

Dream Formula III: Temple of Dreams: For use when working with the many Gods of Sleep, Dreams, and Nightmares.

Dream Formula IV: Nanshe: The Babylonian Goddess of Dreams, who bestows the power of Oneiromancy onto her priests. This blend opens up psychic sensitivity during sleep and aids in the understanding and correct interpretation of portents and symbols.

Dream Formula V: Somnus: Named after the Roman God of Sleep. This blend helps bring on deep, restful, natural sleep.

Phoenix Steamworks:

Aelopile: Glowing amber and citrus, labdanum, verbena, cedar, and oud.

The Coil: Ozone, eucalyptus and mint with purple orchid, passionflower, white ginger, and purple lotus.


The Hamptons: The scent of a Cosmopolitan cocktail.

Shanghai: The crisp, clean scent of green tea touched with lemon verbena and honeysuckle


Elixir II: Succor: Relaxation, calm, finding center.

Elixir III: Lustration: Mental, physical and spiritual purification.

Elixir IV: Quietude: Peace, serenity, tranquility, silence.

Elixir VI: Detox: Purge, purify, cleanse.

Elixir IX: TKO: ”Many things — such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly — are done worst when we try hardest to do them.”

Elixir X: GRR: Headache relief.

Elixir XI: OOF: Sinus pain relief.

The Salon:

Silence: White sandalwood, iris, blue musk, lotus root, moonflower, plum blossom, green tea, white mint and white peach.

Carnaval Diabolique

Stormclouds Over the Midway: Thunder-charged ozone, plum-colored incense smoke, opium tar, and wormwood.

Aeronwen: Fig, dark myrrh, amber, redwood, nutmeg, tarragon, black musk, and sweet orange.

Cytherea: White sandalwood, patchouli, white amber, orris, bourbon vanilla, champaca flower, and kush

Pickled Imp: Cinnamon, clove, vanilla, and pine sap.

BOOM Studios

Bette Noir: Benzoin, wild plum, smoky amber, bergamot, orange blossom, myrrh, and dark berries

Kaidan: Rosehip, plum blossom, white sandalwood, jonquil, and amber-laden incense.

The District

Flora: Sweet, wet fruits, sibilant Eastern musk, apple blossom, tuberose, calla lily, osmanthus, wild orchid, amber, and sandalwood.

Neil Gaiman

Pollution: A toxic chypre: radioactive green musk, davana, and oozing white amber

The Macabray: White winter flowers plucked from a snow-covered graveyard.

Hunter: Leonine amber, tanned hides, clove, and clary sage.

Lamia: Deadly elegance: pale orchid, vanilla amber, black currant, white peach, champaca, coconut, Arabian myrrh, Burmese vetiver, and oude.

The Gris Grimly Poe Collection

Soothing Systems: A lunatic’s vintage cabernet


Sara Pezzini: A hint of leather and an understated vintage musk layered over the scent of lightly perspiring, honey-dusted skin.

My Loves (Bottles I Need)

Baobhan Sith: The ghostly White Women of the Scottish highlands. They seduce unwary travelers by night with their unearthly beauty and mesmerizing dancing. They engage their victims in a wild, hypnotic dance, and once they reach exhaustion, exsanguinate their partners with their vampiric kiss. Grapefruit, white tea, apple blossom and ginger.

Bewitched: Deep, luscious green and berry scents that evoke images of woodland witchcraft and the raw power of nature: blackberry, sage, green tea, wild berries and dark musk.

Black Opal: A play of geological darkness and jagged brilliance. Soft and luminescent with flashes of black fire.

Bordello: A decadent, deep perfume, lusty and luxuriant. The scent evokes images of velvet-lined Old West cathouses, tightly laced corsets, rustling petticoats and coquettish snarls of pleasure. Bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant.

Brisingamen: The amber necklace of Freyja, Norse Goddess of Love, Sex, Attraction and Fruitfulness. Her magnificent necklace was bough from four Dwarves [Alfrik, Berling, Dvalin and Grer] at the price of four nights of her passion. When Brisingamen graces your throat, no man can resist your charms. A glittering mantle of rich golden notes: five ambers, soft myrtle and apple blossom, myrtle, and carnation.

MME. Moriarty, Misfortune Teller: Red musk, vanilla bean, pomegranate, patchouli leaf and wild plum.

Leanan Sidhe: The name translates to “fairy, love of my soul”. A vampiric spirit and a dark muse, the love of the Leanan Sidhe is both a gift and a curse. These eerily beautiful Irish spirits drain the sanity and lifeforce of the men they inspire to artistic greatness. Her kiss infuses a man with depth of vision and feeling, otherworldly passion, and a sudden and ineffable understanding of the unending sadness that plagues mankind. Her perfume is a crush of Irish herbs and flowers, Gaelic mists, and nighttime dew.

Poisoned Apple: A perfect, lovely, gleaming red apple whose sweetness masks a swirl of narcotic opium, oleander, and hemlock.

Snake Oil: By far, our most popular scent! Magnetic, mysterious, and exceedingly sexual in nature. A blend of exotic Indonesian oils sugared with vanilla.

Tamora: Amber, heliotrope, golden sandalwood, peach blossom and vanilla bean.

Theodosius, the Legerdemail: Earl Grey tea leaves, a white fougere, jasmine leaf, pearlescent white musk, and vanilla bean.

Titania: A nocturnal bounty of fae dew-kissed petals and pale fruits: white grape, white peach, iced pear, musk rose, sweet pea, moonflower and snapdragon.

Limited Edition/Discontinued/Retail Only

Agony of Heartache: Purple sage, red patchouli, blackberry, lemon blossom, and lime rind.

The Brides of Dracula: gleaming skin musk, honey and white amber, plum blossom, osmanthus, sandalwood, calla lily, and a light, sensual blend of Eastern spices.

Bruja: myrrh, amber and lilac

Fee: vanilla, sunflower, carnation, honeydew, peach blossom, lychee, oakmoss and white tea.

Jester: Huckleberry and red currant with the incisive bite of neroli.

Haloes: Oak, tonka, vanilla, white sandalwood, lily of the valley, white ginger, amber, and apricot

House of Mirrors: Antique amber frames a series of distorted, eternally warping clear crystal and glass notes

Murder of Crows: Sleek iris and verbena, grey amber, benzoin, davana, and glossy herbs.

The Oval Portrait: honeysuckle, carnation, stargazer lily, bluebonnet, vanilla musk, and rice flower.

Peacocks: Asian pear, white musk, bamboo pulp, violet, ambergris, sugar cane, night-blooming jasmine, plum, freesia, and moss.

Tears: The distillate of grief and loss. A clean, cathartic fragrance.